Nowhere
does Hemingway appear truer to his nature than in the photographs
that show him hunting or fishing or on the battlefield.

Whether
he holds the Tycoon rod he used to catch spearfish or his
Austrian Mannlicher Schoenaur .256 which he used on elephant
hunts, these images seem to encapsulate the truth.
They show the Hemignway we remember, a bearded giant of a
man in bermuda shorts and worn out loafers, an instantly recognisable
larger than life hero of our times.
We remember
him as an 'action man'. A man filled with confidence and authority.
But in reality he was shy and bitterly frustrated.
He was
a man with exceptional intelligence and an educated upbringing,
so diverse it must have been confusing to a young man.
His mother
on one side was teaching him culture and took him to operas,
concerts and art galleries and his father, on the other, was
rugged and taught him outdoor life, how to use an axe, a gun,
and to be afraid of nothing.
Both
parents were strong and each had a total conviction and enthusiasm
to teach Ernest their own ideals. And of course he and his
five brothers and sisters were brought up in an intensely
religious atmosphere.
Hemingway's
childhood and adolescence gave him an insight into all aspects
of life and being such an inquisitive, person with a determination
for detail he wanted to try everything and be exceptional
at everything he did.
He found
it very frustrating when his health or poor eye sight kept
him from fulfilling his goals. Right from adolescence when
he wanted to join the forces he was unable to. His poor eye
sight meant he could only join the ambulance corps. Enough
for some people, but not Hemingway. He wanted to excel, to
be thought of as the best.
He must
also have felt himself 'cursed'. His numerous accidents, starting
with his wounding in the First World War, when of course,
he felt he was invincible, was his first and serious setback.
Prevented
from achieving his first goal of being a war 'hero' - fulfilling
his father's teachings of being a strong, dominant, fighting
man, afraid of nothing, he turned to his mother's loves -
culture and began to write.
He had
of course been a newspaper reporter after leaving school,
but his first choice was to follow his father's examples,
to become a rugged, outdoor, independent man. Ironically it
was his father who refused to let him join up for the First
World War.
He quickly
got married after recovering from his injuries in the First
World War and he married a woman eight years older than him,
although it was said she was naieve, unworldy and inexperienced.
It was
said that perhaps he married Hadley for her money - she had
private income from a trust fund and Hemingway who was not
earning much as a newspaper reporter was determined to travel.
He knew he needed some financial support for his plans.
However
his marriage to Hadley had produced a son, John Hadley.
He was,
it was said, having a number of affairs during his marriage
to Hadley but it was only when she found out about his affair
with Pauline Pfeiffer that Hadley wanted to divorce him.
Why did
he find it necessary to have affairs, why did he need everyone
to 'love' him? The pattern of marriages and affairs stayed
with him all his life and yet when he finally married a woman
he considered his equal - Martha Gelhorn, he threw that away
too, discovering he could not cope with a woman who had a
career of her own.
Hemingway
did not know what he wanted. He wanted everything and nothing.
His writing
was his way of coping with life - to exorcise his ghosts,
to achieve fame and glory and yet he also had a natural talent.
What came first, his writing or his adventures? What was most
important to him? To fulfill his mother's wishes or his father's?
Maybe
he felt unfulfilled at his attempts of being an adventurous,
outdoor man? He certainly had more than his fair share of
illness. Anthrax, digestive problems, pneumonia. Each illness
seemed to occur after a long period of activity. Fishing,
hunting, shooting. Maybe he was frustrated at his poor health,
his proneness to sickness everytime he made some exertion
on his body.
He eventually
fell into a period of mental illness, overwhelmed by the demands
put on him by others and himself.
His father
had committed suicide, did he feel then it was perfectly ok
for him to do the same?
But his
medical treatment to overcome his mental problems did not
work and he found his memory had gone and he could not even
write to appease himself.
His physical
state was also too poor for him to carry on with his pursuits
of fishing, shooting and hunting. There was no other choice
than to end his life.
This
site was written by Caroline Hulse (BA) with contributions
from Kelley Dupuis. Reference sources include Carlos Baker
and Norbeto Fuentes
  
Copyright © Ernest.Hemningway.
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